December 2010
54 posts
1 tag
more nye plans.
me: a 12 year old is trying to teach me a lesson right now
me: if i don't watch a certain youtube video right now he's promised he'll never go away
me: he just threw a blanket over my head
me: which is actually the closest approximation to privacy i've had since leaving nyc
me: i guess what i'm trying to say here is it's well past time to start drinking
2 tags
2 tags
NYE workout.
me: time for 8 minute abs?
AF: well, i really wanted to do it, but then i threw up
AF: so give me uh, give me 10-15 minutes here
2 tags
Mosque foes launch Bieber boycott →
Megan Alpert: Why is Justin Beiber on Boycott companies for ground zero?? He’s a kid. lol
Cynthia Bloemer: That stupid dhimmi kid spoke out for the Mosque. Idiot kid!
Megan Alpert: That’s crazy Cynthia. I totally missed that all together.
Administrator: Justin took an adult position and spoke out in support of the mosque in tigar beat magazine. He one of the most influential...
1 tag
typed from across a kitchen table.
me: where is my wallet me: where is my wallet me: where is my wallet me: where is my wallet me: alternately: where is my flask AF: why do you refuse to talk to me on here AF: and only speak to me in person?
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
fyi: i don't.
LW: hullo
LW: i'm in ur house, lyin in ur bed, wonderin if you know the wifi password
1 tag
“I’m able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit...”
– playwright and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin on Palin and her TV show.
more, here (via thesmithian)(via zerbit)
Ahem. Well then.
(via yoursummerheart)
Aaron Sorkin is the fucking BEST
(via lina-lamont)
2 tags
home for the holidays.
PZ: just text me when you're here
PZ: and if i'm awake i'll say hi
PZ: and if i'm alseep i'll be dreaming the word "hi"
PZ: and if i'm dead, i'll fucking haunt you
2 tags
“I want you to write like a motherfucker too, sweet pea. But there are some...”
– DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #60: The World Lit By Other People (via synecdoche)
1 tag
2010:
Hereafter known as the year I did not sleep.
2 tags
1 tag
the donner party.
Roommate: Check it out, I got some plastic sheeting to go over the windows so it won't be so cold in the apartment anymore.
Me: We won't freeze to death after all!
Roommate: Don't worry, we'll still have to cannibalize each other for sustenance.
2 tags
1 tag
rough night.
Me: sorry if i woke you up last night
Me: i was very, very wasted
Me: memory is a little fuzzy
Roommate: yeah you woke up in the middle of the night and murdered the neighbor's dog with your bare hands
Me: obvs
1 tag
things i would give to sleep through the night:
All of them. All of the things.
1 tag
2 tags
btw
PZ: btw text me your address
PZ: i fucking think ari's dead
1 tag
1 tag
"i was mad at it. for so long."
JL: i have no regard for the cat's feelings
JL: if it's being a brat
1 tag
i have not brushed my hair in three days.
File this under: things the internet should know about me.
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
My Biggest Regret Ever: Giving a Guy Off... →
welcometothisblogbitch:
mybiggestregretever:
My biggest regret ever is giving a guy off Craigslist a blowjob for Taylor Swift Tickets. I responded to an ad where the guy said that he would sell me 2 tickets for $50 each. I went to his apartment to pick them up and he started to tell me that he wouldn’t sell them less for $150 a ticket. I…
Hahahahahahaha hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Look,...
2 tags
“My own kind. I’m not sure there’s a name for us. I suspect we’re born this way:...”
– Steve Almond & Julianna Baggott (Which Brings Me to You)
1 tag
Vacation
Dad: want to see the 3rd US Appellate court in Philly and meet the Chief Justice? Dad
1 tag
because no battle is ever won.
They are not even fought.
eventualghost:
The past is never dead. It’s not even past.
- William Faulkner
1 tag
1:11 am.
time to stop rereading emails i left unsent
2 tags
friday, december 3, 2010
The day the term purse bourbon was added to the lexicon.
1 tag
dangherr.
Me: all ther boyzzz are bhere this bso danhgerrous
AF: your spelling is positively uh
AF: wrong
AF: what i mean to say is
AF: your spelling is wrong here
3 tags
12:18 pm.
I remember what time of year it is. Berate myself. I remember the year I’ve had. Resist the urge to say, you owe me something. I am owed. I open my purse and eye the flasks. Flasks, plural. Berate myself. Berate myself. Berate myself. Put the same Lil Wayne song on grooveshark five times in a row. Think about how awful it is to be level-headed about the things that distress me. I...
1 tag
1 tag
9:49 am.
I have two flasks in my purse. One of them is full of Knob Creek.
1 tag
on my to do list.
REMEMBER WHERE YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING CAR
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
more on what it's like for me to sleep.
Last night my dream was that I pierced my own ears and never stopped bleeding.
1 tag
“A three-day-old human embryo is a collection of 150 cells called a blastocyst....”
– Sam Harris, on stem cell research. (via cocknbull)
1 tag
not how i'd like to be remembered.
AF: i had a series of episodic paranoid dreams last night
AF: i thought of you
Me: thanks
AF: my first thought really
AF: upon waking
AF: was wow
AF: this is what it's like for caitlin to sleep
AF: someone was launching little rockets at me because they thought i was israeli
AF: and i ended up box cutter-ing a girl in the face
1 tag
on thinking your oven is a drawer/soul...
AF: i'm applying to the aclu of hawaii
AF: they refuse to accept applications, indeed to open any emails, that contain ms word documents
AF: for fear of viruses targeting them
AF: my god, i'd love to work in an organization scared of word
1 tag
on making the band.
AF: so i thought you should know
AF: without context, obviously
AF: that PZ and i are forming a band called Caitlin's Magic Carpet Ride
AF: thots?
Me: You callin' me a hobag?
AF: no, no
AF: naming a band the rocketship
AF: doesn't make us astronauts
AF: ya know?