January 2011
56 posts
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going ice skating in a minute
three words to describe my outfit:
grape four loko
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"going full drescher"
has officially entered the lexicon under wardrobe choices made/superpowers possessed by CAK anywhere and everywhere but probably not work if i want to keep complaining about my office job ever day
a typical full drescher ensemble includes all of the following:
see-through leopard print blouse
leather and lace miniskirt
headband with fishnet veil attached
motorcycle boots
floral print flask
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just tried to email a dead person
sherlock holmesing it up at work
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tell it like it is, dad.
strangely reassuring gestures:
dodge: gotta go take a shit!!! :D dodge: A shower, too! dodge: Just don’t take the shit in the shower dodge: That’s a bad deal dodge: You’d have to be insane to do that. dodge: Since you dont, and it grosses you out, you r sane. QUOD EST DEMONSTRANDUM dodge: :)
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Excurision Rules
Dad: Ok heres the skinny on our little excursion. All those riding with me meet at 2:00. Nick is taking the fun bus so its just you and your friends. Here are the ground rules everyone should bring a blanket and a pillow and give 25 dollars before we leave. Absolutely no contraban allowed. Code names or nick names are required on this trip. Mine is elvis, you will refer to me as elvis or sir only I will be treated with respect. I will have complete control over the radio and cd player. There will be singing. All fellow travelers will be required to sing along with at least one rolling stones song. Complaints about my singing or driving will not be tolerated, If these conditions are acceptable to you I will see you at 2:00.
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things i've already said today
this isn’t about opinions
but also don’t creep me out in my own house if you can avoid it
she's clunky, but brave.: “Were most of your stars... →
teaforonesvp:
“Were most of your stars out? Were you busy writing your heart out? If only you knew how easy it would be for you to say yes to both questions. If only you’d remember before you ever sit down to write that you’ve been a reader long before you were ever a writer. You simply fix that fact in your mind, then sit very still and ask yourself, as a reader, what piece of writing in all...
haha
i haven’t slept since 2009
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:[
LW: I'm watching some middle school girls basketball, there's a girl almost as tall as me
me: why are you watching middle school girls
LW: I don't think I should answer that
me: do you want your lawyer?
post-imagine it.
me: i did not realize gmail signed me out
me: so if you sent me anything in the past ten minutes
me: i have not yet received it
AF: hm
AF: i have, is the thing
AF: but we'll move on
AF: just post-imagine it to have been highly clever
AF: well-chosen diction
AF: reviving very old inside jokes in just the right tone
AF: while also making them new again
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"jk that's morbid."
me: ok i might have bad news
me: i think i lost one of the mittens you gave me last night
me: i'm so sorry
me: i don't know what i could've done with it
me: they were in my purse
me: but when i looked this morning only one was in my purse
PZ: tis ok!
PZ: i didn't get them for you so you could keep them forever
PZ: and this gives me an excuse to get you the same thing next christmas
PZ: and if you lose those again
PZ: i'm going to staple them onto your hands
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ugh tomorrow i am going to call in terrified of my...
don’t want to act like i know what the fuck is going on at work anymore
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i wanted to call in freezing to work today.
this is similar to calling in sick except this is just oh wow there are way too many icicles in my life and some of them are in my room and i’ve had four hours of sleep and i’m next to another human being in bed and there are five thousand cats sitting on top of me and still i am not warm so how could i possibly put on the dress i laid out last night (ha ha “laid out” here...
things i should not text my roommate right now
bring me pizza and sizzurp
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“well my cat is licking me in the face send help bring fruit or fruit-flavored...”
– texts sent 11:30 pm saturday jan 22 2011
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hour three
my cat wakes up and starts licking me on the mouth
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i don't want to brag or anything
but my cat has been lying on top of me for the last hour. she has never before shown herself capable of any emotion but revenge (on anything i put on my nightstand, on my bedroom door when i close it and she’s not in my room, on the books on my bookshelf, on my hair ties and my bras and my stockings and my shoelaces) but tonight oh man tonight is the night she finally grew the fuck up and...
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well
i should probably stop waking up at 4:30 in the morning so stressed i binge eat my weight in dark chocolate peanut butter and rice crispies with sugar and soy milk
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typo.
PZ: my friend lives 96th and broadway
me: oh
me: fuck that
me: i'm in brooklyn
me: which you are going to
me: so i can show you what's what
PZ: ill try?
me: are you fucking kidding me
PZ: NO
PZ: im not kidding you
me: i'm about to smack you
me: through the fucking internet
PZ: i literally have NO PLANS
me: yeah i'm suggesting you MAKE SON
me: SOME
me: with me
me: MAKE SON
me: WITH ME
PZ: make son?
PZ: with me?
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“recite
the strongest poem you know. a spell
against the lonely that gets you...”
– Marty McConnell, Survival Poem #17 (via yesyes)
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on breaking up.
PZ: man it was tough doing it over skype
PZ: but it was easier than face to face
PZ: which means that now i'll be doing it over skype
me: doing what over skype? breaking up? it's not like it can be helped
me: she lives in fucking japan now!
PZ: yeah
PZ: that's what i mean
PZ: but for the next girl
PZ: it'll be over skype as well
PZ: even if she's inside my house
PZ: the pleasure of clicking "end"
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doing yoga alone in my room
in a bra and leggings at 2:30 in the morning on a saturday night after drinking vodka from a sippy cup -
- nope, 2k11 will suck too.
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mattgorman:
maddiehope:
...
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“The idea of being weighed down made me uneasy, as if I lived on the surface of a...”
– Nicole Krauss, Great House (via beenthinking)
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resolutions.
From an as yet unsent email to AR:
And so twenty-eleven finds me (for aforementioned and other, less foregrounded reasons) sort of in the same place as the start of twenty-ten did, only full of despair because I pulled out all the stops when it came to Being Sane in 2010. It’s tough to square with the realization that I moved here a little over a year ago and I changed everything...
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shit show.
LW: M just opened the cab door into another car
LW: yeah, moving car btw
me: can you tell lieutenant P to chill the fuck out
me: he was screaming at me about how wasted i am and simultaneously trying to get me to go to a techno bar
me: in dupont circle.
me: pretty sure that's militar-ese for "i'm gay"
LW: can you say shit show
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James Franco Directing Faulkner, McCarthy Now |... →
mutations:
It’s just three days into the New Year, and happily many of the major characters of 2010 are already showinggreat initiative with respect to 2011, James Franco among them. The soon-to-be Oscar host is reportedly in talks to take on two directorial projects: an adaptation of William Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying for Fox Searchlight, and one of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian with...
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