December 2011
80 posts
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for the third time this year
DS: i believe her party is uh Clue-themed
DS: meaning you can dress like a Clue character if you want
me: i can wear a floor-length gown and act like a total bitch?
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new year's eve
DS: i wish this day were a house i could burn down
DS: TWICE
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resolutions
slit the throat of anyone who has ever quietly, politely, kindly, systematically undermined the idea of my personhood
slit the throat of anyone who ever tries to quietly, politely, kindly, systematically undermine the idea of my personhood
burn an effigy of anyone who likes huevos rancheros
drink hot sauce
write more
transform into a fucking monster
actually remember when hanukkah is next...
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All I want for Christmas is for Bates to hang.
texting and driving at 100 mph
title of my brother’s autobiography
if anyone even survives this trip
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road trip with siblings
my sister has texted me “i know i married a damn monster” five times from the front seat, one of the car windows is permanently stuck open, and the last words anyone has spoken are “fuck yourself.”
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it's officially the dead of winter
K: i've developed a new heating system based on cats
K: specifically harvesting them
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kitten name ideas i am too cowardly to send via...
punishment from hell
diane keaton
krampus
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i'll be so surprised if i don't die tonight
- things i’ve texted people today
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i want to have my spine ripped out and replaced...
this is my christmas wishlist
make it happen y’all
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You remember our freshman year, and I had that brown-and-yellow dress I bought...
– Uncle Wiggily in Connecticut (via luckypaperstars)
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in conclusion
DS: so
DS: in conclusion, CAK, you motherfucker
DS: every girl
DS: IS
DS: my girlfriend
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DS: number of work done today
DS: ZE-RO
DS: number of [name redacted]s done last night
DS: 1
me: WOOSH
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when I'm at work, I feel like Buffy in that...
plz-gro:
just a supernatural girl lookin’ for something creepy in average America
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every day in the shower i think about god reaching down into my apartment and...
– pix or it didn’t ruin yr life
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pix or it didn’t ruin yr life
– re: tonight’s company christmas party
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